Thursday, December 03, 2009

One is the Loneliest Number


I'm showing my age by quoting from a Three Dog Night hit which is now forty years old.

There have been several reports in the media about a study on loneliness and the conclusion that loneliness is a "social disease" which can infect others.

Of course everything is a disease these days and we have to wonder what treatments will be proposed for this one. I must agree, though, that loneliness is a spiritual condition that affects, if not infects, many people. I often speak with people who are deeply affected by isolation and are deeply lonely. Some of them seem cheerful and gregarious in social settings yet feel they are on their own in life. I have offered many prayers with folk who are desperate to sense that they are not alone.

I do believe that Christian community is a way to address loneliness, although it is not a "happy pill." In the presence of like-minded people of faith we can experience acceptance, peace, and even joy. As a personal example, I have really enjoyed the company of the participants of our two study groups in recent weeks. Their shared insights, soul-searching and humour made my day when we gathered.

That said, I do feel that solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. Often I experience my deepest connection with God when there are no other human beings around.


How do you address loneliness? Does Christian community make a difference for you? Do you enjoy solitude?

4 comments:

bim said...

A church community is a way to address loneliness if you are able.As an example I was at the church every night except fri.for thingslike yoga, fitness, choir,Palistine presentation and beef dinner,but older people who in some cases have lost spouses,living with illness or have no way to come out likely suffer with loneliness which can lead to depression.
The other night we picked up an older person to take her to the church,and as you said she was great while there but in conversation she used a phase that makes me wonder if every thing is okay "I never thought things would end up this way".Our church and community do great things but no doubt alot of people slip thru the cracks.
As far as solitude,your picture could be me (that's not lonesome to me).I love being out alone walking,skiing,kayaking or just sitting overlooking the lake reading.Have been this way since childhood but enjoy going in groups or any other company.Being alone gives you a chance to talk to God or yourself,out loud as I do and noone knows.Great decisions about family an life have been made and some not so great This is great therapy for me.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy my solitude and find that when I don't have this time I become run down. I probably need more time alone than most. I know there are people who actually fear time alone, but I dread not having it. There was a time when my social anxiety had made me a prisioner in my own home. As time moved on I learned to enter the world again. The problem with loneliness it that there is a physical price to be paid for this withdrawlal from community. I don't think lonliness is itself the disease, I think it is more the symptom of other disorders. The mind or the heart breaks a little first, the loneliness is the fever. Solitude is something different entirely. Solitude has a regenerating aspect to, where as loneliness slowly erodes a person's quality of life.

roger said...

Here I thought you were in your late 30's David. Next you'll be quoting songs from Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby.

We have all probably felt loneliness to some degree at one point or another in our lives. I felt somewhat lonely living in northern Canada for a couple of years, but apart from that, I have found that doing volunteer work and just being engaged in any activities in which I partake has helped quash any lonely feelings that have surfaced. However, I am also very fortunate to have a close and supportive family. Without that, I would probably be writing songs about loneliness!

David Mundy said...

Well Johnny, I am dreaming of a white Christmas.

Thanks for each of these perspectives. Bim, you point out, rightly it seems to me, that it can be enjoyable to be actively engaged with others, and still finding solace in solitude. I'm with you on that. I spend so much time with people but love solitude. I too could be the person in the photo.

Pupil, you point out that loneliness and solitude are not the same, and solitude is soul-building rather than soul-destroying.

I agree Johnny that we all touch on loneliness but family, friends, and care for others are antidotes.