Psalm 139 The Inescapable God
God,
investigate my life;
get
all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
even
from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m
never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before
I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then
up ahead and you’re there, too—
your
reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I
can’t take it all in!
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
you’re already there waiting!
The Message Paraphrase Bible -- Eugene Peterson
We have three people who are near and dear to us, two long-time friends and a family member who are dealing with dementia. All of them are experiencing significant memory loss although for two of them it's decribed as "moderate." They struggle mightily with embarrassment and shame even though everyone around them is supportive. The third person was a vital, active person until a stroke and now she is delusional and tormented. She wants to die. We are doing our best to stay in touch with all of them and have visits planned in the next weeks.
I've offered the multi-session study group God in the Shadows: Dementia and the Spiritual Life in two congregations and it was well attended in both. There were lots of poignant moments and tears as participants shared their experiences with loved ones. The shadows are experienced by those in the throes of dementia and those who are caregivers.
We can pray for all those who are living with dementia and who need the "love is patient and kind" support of family, friends, and communities of faith.
2 comments:
A long time friend of mine is in a seniors' retirement residence, after moving out of her home, which she was not able to manage for several years, before any friends or family knew what was happening. She covered it well. When her depth of difficulties was finally discovered, she resisted any outside help, and was furious when family came in to clean out her "hoarded" home, pay her bills, set her up with meals on wheels, get medical help once a week to make sure she got her diabetes meds and injections, organize her finances, and hire other assistants to do daily tasks. She is now at the point where she may need to transition to a long term care home soon, as she does not trust any of the staff to clean for her or do her laundry, and is convinced that when she goes out, staff are entering her room and stealing things ... she always finds them later, of course. It is becoming more and more difficult to visit her or take her out - she confuses people and places and events, and tells wild stories about the outings to others later! Such a sad state!
It can be scary for family members to see a loved one suffering from dementia and other neurodegenerative disorders of the brain.
My mother experienced delirum near the end that completely changed her personality, although strangely it gave her a sense of humour she never had!
And when I visited my father in Extendicare, he thought I was his younger brother and that we were teens back in the UK. I played along with it, but eventually he became non-verbal.
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