The New York Times published a piece last week about a man named Nick Fahey who has spent the last 16 years living on an island in Washington state's Puget Sound. It is an austere lifestyle but it works for him. He makes occasional forays to mainland to buy supplies and visit his woman friend --it must be an unusual relationship. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/15/garden/15alone.html?scp=1&sq=solitude&st=cse
It's amazing how often stories such as this one appear in papers and magazines. In our noisy, hyper-connected world we seem to have a love/hate relationship with solitude. It appears to be a freaky choice, yet we can't walk away from it without curiosity.
Whenever I come back from a retreat where there has been silence, or after my two months in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere where I experienced a fair amount of solitude, folk want to know what it is like. Some are horrified at the prospect, as though I was sky-diving from a tall building, or swimming in piranha-infested waters. Why, oh why, would anyone choose to do this to themselves? Others long for the opportunity.
There is an excellent definition of solitude from Psychology Today which reminds us that solitude is different from loneliness.http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200308/what-is-solitude
There are many biblical stories of solitude, often as a preparation for times of intense interaction with others, or roles of leadership. In the bible solitude opens the eyes and ears to God. Jesus' forty days in the wilderness comes to mind, but there are many other accounts.
How are you with solitude? Could you last a day, or two, or ten with minimal contact or conversation with others? I have an idea what the introverts will say, but I would love to hear from extroverts as well.
6 comments:
Times of solitude are essential for me.
I have my luggage ready, I just need to find that island in the south pacific. A diet of coconuts, fish and leaves sounds good to me!
I am a single person who lives alone and I am not uncomfortable with solitude. In fact, there are times that I need it to reflect and recharge myself and quite enjoy it. Yet, attending a 2 week Learning Circle in a convent where all meals were taken in silence almost drove me batty. The lesson - if I am sharing a meal with you - be prepared for conversation! :)
Thanks for all three responses. I think solitude is essential, as Laurie suggests, although that will be different for each person. I feel that solitude is essential for creativity and communion with God and others.
Susan, you point out that for those who live with a degree of enforced solitude it is important to be in community.
Johnny, I will keep scanning the real estate ads for the South Pacific on your behalf. Just what kind of leaves were you thinking of?
Solitude is completely essential for me. I enjoyed reading H.D. Thoreau's Walden this year, and part of the attraction was the fact that he willingly surrendered two years in society to be alone with his thoughts, nature and God.
This from reader Bill in an email:
SOLITUDE:I HAVE PROBABLY SPENT MORE TIME ALONE IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS THAN IN ANY TIME IN MY LIFE.IT DOES GIVE TIME FOR THOUGHT SOME GOOD AND SOME BAD.IT DOES GIVE TIME TO PONDER VARIOUS THINGS THAT ARE ALWAYS HAPPENING AROUND US EACH DAY.AM LEARNING TO LIVE WITH IT BUT NOT WITH ENTHUSIASM.I DO MISS THE SOCIAL CONTACT OF HAVING JOAN THERE TO TALK THINGS OVER,SHE WAS A GREAT SOUNDING BOARD AND REALY HELPED ME STAY ON TRACK.I STILL LOVE NATURE AND MY WALK WITH MY DOGS ALONG THE LAKE AND WATCH THE BIRDS AND WILD LIFE.IN EVERY SEASON.IT IS ALSO TIME FOR PRAYER AND CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD.I AM SURE I SPEND MORE TIME IN PRAYER THAN AT ANY OTHER TIME IN MY LIFE.I DO NOT KNOW IF MY PRAYERS ARE DEEP ENOUGH OR TOO SIMPLE.BUT IT IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT IT SO I GUESS I WILL CONTINUE.
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